To my credit I did not yell. I calmly closed the bedroom door and went and poured a drink and counted to about a million before grabbing the camera. After a few minutes it became pretty funny (not the part about my vacuum cleaner being broken, though).
The evidence suggests he was going for the diaper cream next.
It probably time for me to apologize for my smugness about Jake being potty-trained before his third birthday. Leave it to your children to remind you to be humble. We did great for a few weeks- even at night. So great in fact I got rid of all the training pants. But now he has entered a new phase of getting naked at every opportunity and peeing in the floor. I have cleaned up SO MUCH PEE in the last week that I actually dreamed up the idea of Sham-Wow creating absorbant, machine washable flooring. I should also apologize to my husband for coming very close to dumping a glass of water on him at 2 am so that he could feel what Jake feels to wake up wet in the middle of the night. A little hostile, but it was the third night in a row and someone keeps giving him drinks at night. But then I realized I was the one that gave him the drink so that one was on me. Literally. You never seem to notice a kid is wet until they crawl into your lap. There was a time that getting soaked in another person’s urine would have caused me to immediately shower for an hour. It’s a different story when you are a mom. Urine is sterile, isn’t it?
And on that note- the person that discovers that the child’s bed has been soiled should really be the one to go put it in the washer, DH. So if you aren’t seeing many posts you can guess that I am doing another load of wet clothes, out buying diapers or counting to a million (or pouring another drink if it is after breakfast time!).